On the hydrangeas
the weight of the morning sun
the evening sun
---Otsuyu
I enjoyed it, David.
me toojohn
The haiku was powerful enough by itself, but the picture is beautiful :)
Using "I" in haiku is, I think, new for you. I love how it's deeply imbedded in the experience of nature. This is strong and beautiful.(The placement of the word "the" has me stuck. Do you think it would work better at the beginning of the third line?)(I'm also realizing that dropping "I am" could also work, but being a Westerner, I like it better with the subject explicit. :) )
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4 comments:
I enjoyed it, David.
me too
john
The haiku was powerful enough by itself, but the picture is beautiful :)
Using "I" in haiku is, I think, new for you. I love how it's deeply imbedded in the experience of nature. This is strong and beautiful.
(The placement of the word "the" has me stuck. Do you think it would work better at the beginning of the third line?)
(I'm also realizing that dropping "I am" could also work, but being a Westerner, I like it better with the subject explicit. :) )
Post a Comment