Two tanka for my mother

1/
in wooden armchair
my mother no longer knits
slip, stitch and pass
the piece she made wholeheartedly
was raising a wayward son

2/
the meaning of getting old
my mother told me about
hair loss
I realize how hard it is
to say an early goodbye

1/
washing dishes
after a dinner for two
the hissing from the sink
sounds like nice words
we no longer mean to say

membersihkan piring
setelah makan malam berdua
desis dari pencucian
bagai kata-kata mesra
yang tak lagi kita ucapkan

2/
let me be
as she told me in anger
i noticed
the rose in the vase
withering petal by petal

tinggalkan aku
saat ia berucap marah
aku sadari
mawar dalam vas mengering
kelopak demi kelopak

3/
in my solitary garden
grasses mown last month
it's now overgrown
watered with hope and dreams
i can only let it go

di taman terasing
rumput yang dipotong bulan lalu
kini tumbuh liar
disiram harap dan impian
yang hanya bisa kuikhlaskan

it's still there
a solemn promise to keep
in our minds
we talk intimately
and sleep back to back

summer feast
a lady with emerald earring
walks her chihuahua

along the meadow path
she picks poppies
more poppies
knowing her childhood
lasts in seasons

Inspired by Monet's Poppies Blooming

Haiga Online, June 2011

Melting iceberg

00.23 AM. The night is young and it's me grappling with a stack of paperworks on the desk while some junk emails await for removal. "You need spam blocker," she says, seeing my grumpy face, again, before my Macbook. She stands from her chair, heads for the bedroom and leaves me with my weary head. "Yeah, I know," I reply but she seems no longer in conversation mode.

My iTunes plays Suzi Quatro's Cat Size at the bottom of the customized vintage rock playlist. I take a sip of my coffee, feel how the sediment roughly slides down my throat, and turn on the room TV for a little distraction. The hotel clock shows 01.26 AM, I straighten my back and stop scanning the channels for climate update on Discovery.

melting iceberg
she's in satin lingerie
digesting Rumi

crippled mother
the black of her eyes capture
a sketch of rainclouds

the rain
penetrates my soul
drop by drop
your love
fills the lake


hujan
menyusup ke jiwaku
tik tik tik
cintamu memenuhi
telaga

I got a bite!-a haibun

Sunday is the day i like most these days. And today is the day. My boy in rubber boots leads me to a spring under a cluster of trees. His fishing rod, much taller than him, leaning on his shoulder, with the thin end pointing straight at my face. "I won't fail this time," he says, keeps on staggering along muddy causeway.

repeated pattern--
my footprints
next to his

It takes no time to get there before we throw the bait, an earthworm at the hook. "I'll catch the big ones," he says. Keeping his eyes down, breathing slowly, sensing any movement underwater with patience and eagerness, he pulls the line and something is struggling for a loose at the other end of the fishing line. I know, he's not happy with it but still there's a smile on his face. "Was your catch this small when you're at my age?"


Akhir-akhir ini aku sangat menyukai hari Minggu. Dan hari ini, anak lelakiku, dengan sepatu bot dari karet, berjalan di depanku menuju mata air di bawah pepohonan yang rimbun. Joran pancingnya, lebih tinggi daripada badannya sendiri, merunduk di atas pundaknya. Ujungnya menuding tepat ke wajahku. "Hari ini aku tidak boleh gagal," katanya sambil berjalan, sesekali terhuyung nyaris tergelincir, di pematang yang licin.

pola yang berulang--
jejak kami
beriringan

Tak perlu waktu lama untuk mencapai mata air sebelum kami melempar kail dengan umpan cacing di ujungnya. "Mudah-mudahan dapat yang besar," ia menggumam. Matanya tertuju ke air, nafasnya lambat, syaraf di telapak tangannya mengindera setiap gerak di bawah air. Sesuatu tampak meronta di ujung senar pancing saat ia mengangkat jorannya. Aku tahu, ia tidak begitu puas melihat hasil pancingannya, tapi senyum tetap saja mengembang di wajahnya. "Waktu ayah seumurku, dapatnya juga sekecil ini?"

studying taxonomy
i identify you among those
kinds of water lilies

belajar taksonomi
aku mencandramu dari
rupa-rupa teratai

rain in the sun
how long it takes
to recolor memories?

berapa lama kita
mewarnai ulang kenangan itu?
hujan siang bolong

washing my feet
after this long walk
in shallow water
the memory of you
runs downstream

membasuh kakiku
setelah perjalanan ini
di sungai kecil
kenangan tentangmu
larut dalam arus

a day you promised
to not leave me forever
feels like yesterday
in my cabinet, a box full
of our memorabilia

seperti baru kemarin
kau berjanji tak kan pernah pergi
di lemariku,
satu kardus penuh
memorabilia berdebu

zero-return investment
her letter
under my pillow

rainclouds overhead
and the funeral
silently racing

moos
a cow on the roadside
halfway to funeral

crescent moon
fifteen days to go
a star in waiting

cricket song
how familiar it is
my mother's voice


Ambrosia, issue 5 Summer 2010