On the hydrangeas

the weight of the morning sun

the evening sun


---Otsuyu


descending dusk
curled maple leaves unfold
mimosas close


can i have an editor's eye look at this for me?

1 comment:

David said...

Hi Reihaisha

I'd suggest

dusk
maple leaves unfold
and mimosas close

both 'curled' and 'descending' are assumed by 'dusk' and 'unfold'

all the best

David