On the hydrangeas

the weight of the morning sun

the evening sun


---Otsuyu


august full moon -
carbage cans in the street
at first seats

***

pleine lune d'août -
les poubelles de la rue
aux premières loges

2 comments:

Alan Summers said...

Hi Damien,

I love the feel of this! ;-)

It needs a slight adjustment though.

Can you tell me what you mean specifically by the phrase: "premières loges"?

ORIGINAL HAIKU

august full moon -
carbage cans in the street
at first seats


ALTERNATIVES?

august full moon -
carbage cans in the street
first row seats


august full moon -
carbage cans in the street
turn into the best seats


august full moon -
carbage cans in the street
turn into first lodgings


all my very best,

Alan
The With Words International Online Haiku Competition 2010: weblink to competition page
.

Alan Summers said...

Yikes! As I mentioned to Damien, I missed the typo of garbage instead of carbage.

Watch this space, Damien is working on a new version.

Alan