dinner on the porch
we watch the rabbits eat too
soft, silent rain falls
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On the hydrangeas
the weight of the morning sun
the evening sun
---Otsuyu
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2 comments:
I love "soft, silent rain falls".
dinner on the porch
we watch the rabbits eat too
soft, silent rain falls
maybe...
dinner on the porch
as we watch the rabbits -
soft, silent rain falls
??
all my best,
Alan
Thanks, Alan. I like your revision better, I think.
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