On the hydrangeas

the weight of the morning sun

the evening sun


---Otsuyu


not loving, the way I used to love
a negative sign
of aging
a positive sign
not hating, the way I used to hate

7 comments:

David said...

Wow!But it needs some editing.

but I'd take out
'a negative sign' and 'a positive sign' and perhaps the second 'love' and 'hate'

aging -
not loving
the way I used to [love]
not hating
the way I used to [hate]


all the best David

Beatrice V said...

Excellent. I would tend to agree with David,though, that being more concise makes it even more powerful.

Vida said...

Thank you, David and Beatrice!
I posted that yesterday, right after I thought of it, because it seemed like a funny observation. David, you made from it an elegant poem!:) Thank you!

Nancy Bea Miller said...

Either way...a powerful observation!

diana l. said...

Amen to that.

Carlos Gesmundo said...

Bravo, Vida!

Vida said...

Nancy, Diana and Carlos, thank you!