On the hydrangeas

the weight of the morning sun

the evening sun


---Otsuyu



I got a bite!-a haibun

Sunday is the day i like most these days. And today is the day. My boy in rubber boots leads me to a spring under a cluster of trees. His fishing rod, much taller than him, leaning on his shoulder, with the thin end pointing straight at my face. "I won't fail this time," he says, keeps on staggering along muddy causeway.

repeated pattern--
my footprints
next to his

It takes no time to get there before we throw the bait, an earthworm at the hook. "I'll catch the big ones," he says. Keeping his eyes down, breathing slowly, sensing any movement underwater with patience and eagerness, he pulls the line and something is struggling for a loose at the other end of the fishing line. I know, he's not happy with it but still there's a smile on his face. "Was your catch this small when you're at my age?"


Akhir-akhir ini aku sangat menyukai hari Minggu. Dan hari ini, anak lelakiku, dengan sepatu bot dari karet, berjalan di depanku menuju mata air di bawah pepohonan yang rimbun. Joran pancingnya, lebih tinggi daripada badannya sendiri, merunduk di atas pundaknya. Ujungnya menuding tepat ke wajahku. "Hari ini aku tidak boleh gagal," katanya sambil berjalan, sesekali terhuyung nyaris tergelincir, di pematang yang licin.

pola yang berulang--
jejak kami
beriringan

Tak perlu waktu lama untuk mencapai mata air sebelum kami melempar kail dengan umpan cacing di ujungnya. "Mudah-mudahan dapat yang besar," ia menggumam. Matanya tertuju ke air, nafasnya lambat, syaraf di telapak tangannya mengindera setiap gerak di bawah air. Sesuatu tampak meronta di ujung senar pancing saat ia mengangkat jorannya. Aku tahu, ia tidak begitu puas melihat hasil pancingannya, tapi senyum tetap saja mengembang di wajahnya. "Waktu ayah seumurku, dapatnya juga sekecil ini?"

2 comments:

Alan Summers said...

I love this! ;-)

Just a couple of queries re syntax:

he says, keeps on staggering along muddy causeway.

maybe:

he says, staggering along the muddy causeway.

he pulls the line and something is struggling for a loose at the other end of the fishing line.

"for a loose" ?

Did you mean a fish trying to struggle loose?

Once these two queries are tightend up I really think you should submit this to a haibun magazine.

Thank you for posting this delightful haibun here! ;-)

Alan
With Words
.

Wandering spirit said...

Thank you, Alan. I'll work on it..